Monday, December 29, 2008

California Dreamin' Part 2

And that's dreaming on several different levels.

I just applied for a job on-line at a Palm Springs Hospital. It's an interesting job and one I know I could handle. I have the skills and the experience. I, however, live in Chicago. That's approximately a 1700 mile drive. Talk about a commute.

I sincerely doubt that there is no one else in the State of California that could fill this job post. That's why I'm sure I won't get an offer....BUT.....I'm dreaming.

Dreaming of leaving Chicago (which is a beautiful city, BTW) and being near my family in southern California. Dreaming of a better/different life for me because of the support of my family, dreaming of a better/different life for my kids. I think I can be a better parent, a happier person, if I were near my family.

Sure. Be a killjoy. I know the problems I have here will follow me where ever I go (save snow shoveling and trying to open the car door after it's been frozen shut), but I think I could handle things better with my family near me. But once again, it's a Sophie's Choice. Only the choice is between what's good for me and what's probably better for my kids. Specifically my daughter. It might be hard on her to get uprooted and start a new life. And perhaps my cats whiskers might be disjointed for a day or two. But I want to go. I want to go. I want to be able to take a ride on a Saturday and see my cousin. I want to be able to call my cousin if I'm in the hospital and need someone. I have friends here....but it's just not the same. Unless you are in my shoes, it's hard to explain that need....that connection. The older I get, the stronger it is.

And I hear you. Do that Pro/Con thing. But really it comes down to worry, fear, choices. Just like everything else in life. And lately, I wouldn't trust myself to think my way out of a paper bag.

1 comment:

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