Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Thursday Thirteen #23

I Don't Know Where I'm Going, But I Know Where I've Been! 13 places I've visited.

1. England. This was in 1976 while the Queen was celebrating her millionith year on the throne. But I fell in love. In love. I was there for 10 days and roamed around London and off into the countryside. I'd go back in a NY minute. Highlights: Saw Rudolf Nureyev dance. He was older, but it was still powerful. And I walked the walk of the 4 lads where Apple Corps was located (scene of the rooftop performance) and almost got killed looking the wrong way before crossing the street...saw the supposed official "round table" of the Knights...and Stonehenge.

2. Ireland. I'm Irish. What can I tell you? I love Ireland. Went to Dublin and saw the Ring of Kerry and stayed at youth hostels. Then it was advisable not to go any farther north because of all the trouble in Belfast. Saw the Blarney Stone, which you need to hang outside of a tower to kiss, and hearing the stories about the locals peeing on the stone and getting an ol' Irish hoot watching idiot tourists kiss it, well, I waved at it and moved on. I did my history proud and got hammered on Paddy Whiskey. For this reason, I missed most of Scotland....but

3. Scotland. I did revive somewhat for Edinburgh. So old, so much history and an amazing castle that overlooks the city. We weren't there very long and I was praying to just die for most of it...after my salute to Ireland.

4. Wales. All I gotta say is....who knew? The Welsh people (Not Racquel, but Tom Jones is Welsh if that helps) are a damn scream. Beautiful seaside sojourn...and many laughs. Could be I was just happy to have survived Paddy Whiskey.

5. France. Paris mostly. While others in my college troop went off to sample the abundance of the French grape, I went in search of Frederick Chopin. Yes, I knew he was dead, but he spent many years in Paris -- he had an apartment in the Place de la Concorde, which I found via the Metra with some difficulty considering I speak NO French. Got lost in the damn underground....but really did enjoy France. Saw Notre Dame and the Louvre, walked along the Seine. Went out into the countryside and heard about Napoleon and Marie. Highlight: Finding out you absolutely CAN live on bread, wine and cheese.

6. Hawaii. oooo, I loved Hawaii. I mean, how can you NOT? Altho I went with Anne and our friend Jane not to enjoy sun and ocean, but to hunt down Mr. Magnum PI. I found that house too, where they filmed the show. Highlight: Maui. Island home of one Mr. George Harrison, who had a sign that said, in effect, "GET THE F*** OFF MY PROPERTY" in about 17 languages. He didn't want any misunderstanding. No matter where you were from.

7. Dallas, Texas. Some friends of mine moved down there from Chicago about 10 years ago. The only thing I knew of Dallas came from that TV show "Dallas". (We did go visit Southfork, which is an actual ranch, but the inside doesn't look anything like the interiors of the show and the pool is about the size of a 1/2 dollar). But I LOVED Dallas. I loved Texas. It's big and open and you can wear shit-kickers anywhere, anytime and be considered "dressed". The land is open, the food is big and I had a great time. Highlight: fell in love there. Toby Keith. You understand...

8. Philadelphia. My friend Jane moved there and I visited a couple years ago for a girl's weekend. It was terrific!! Ben Franklin and pubs and early American history. A bus ride through skinny streets and brightly painted 18th century row houses. Oh, and the real Liberty Bell. We went to Valley Forge too which was serenely beautiful.

9. Los Angeles. My family moved out to Rosemead California in the 1960's. It's just outside LA. They've moved all over and I've seen alot of Southern California. I like that you can be in 80 degree heat during the day and have it drop into the 50's at night. Or be in horrid heat during the week and head off to the mountains and see snow over the weekend. That and the diversity. Food, people, culture -- all in moderate temps and a few earthquakes. I lived through one quake when I was younger and I remember standing in the door jamb waiting for it to pass. To me, as a kid, it reminded me of living by train tracks and hearing the freight trains pass through.

10. Alaska. Anchorage, Juneau. Went the end of September about 20 years ago and it was warmer in Anchorage than it was in Chicago. It's on the ocean and the way the current flows, Anchorage can be warmer in the winter than Illinois. Again...who knew? Great history there too....but the economy is really tough and I remember alot of empty stores and empty houses. It is extremely beautiful country though. Just going to the store takes your breath away if you look at the scenery around you.

11. Cincinnati, Ohio. I may have lived in Chicago, but in my youth, I was a traitor. I loved the Cincinnati Reds baseball team. I loved Johnny Bench. I saw him catch a game and I fell in love. He was such an incredible athlete -- and I'm sure he still is. But ol' John got me to Cincinnati several times so that when "WKRP in Cincinnati" came on TV, I knew exactly what it was about. Ohio in general, was also a major favorite when I went to college in Muncie Indiana, as all we had to do was cross the border to get a drink.

12. Las Vegas. How could we not put this on the list? I was there in the days of the Desert Inn (Frank's hangout), the Flamingo, Elvis and when the MGM Grand was the end of the strip. And I've seen it grow out farther into the desert and get bigger and grander. Vegas is just a lifeforce all its own. Can't explain it if you've never been there. But you need money....and sleep in optional.

13. Sedona, Arizona. This was quite awhile ago, but if you've ever gone, Sedona sticks with you forever. It's like the Grand Canyon...Meteor Crater....the Pyramids of Egypt. There's just something majestic about the place. I don't remember much except staring at the beauty of it and wishing I could take a piece of it home with me.

But no matter where I've gone, I've found there truly is no place like home.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Hey, Barry Manilow Fans!!

And anyone else who likes to help those in real need (speaking of volunteering and charity)....

Go to www.manilowsmidnightdreams.com, (or connect through their link on my sidebar) click on the Raffle icon and help someone who was part of Barry's early career and now is having a very difficult time.

There is a terrific raffle set up by the directors and staff of Manilow's Midnight Dreams (Viv, Beth, DD, Cindi and Crystal) with lots of great prizes...and all of the proceeds going to help someone who truly needs it.

All the people involved with Manilow's Midnight Dreams are trustworthy, honest people. I guarantee you that if you donate, the money will be going to help Jeanne Lucas and no one else.

I know as a Manilow fan myself, there is no group of people who will come quicker to your aid or send a comforting note sooner than they. It makes me proud to be among them...and has always made me proud of Barry himself to nurture that sense of charity among his fans and fan clubs.

So take a minute, go to the site and click to help.


Friday, January 25, 2008

Me and Volunteering

Growing up, I didn't have a whole lot of interaction with people who weren't like me. I'm talking across the board, culture, age, income bracket. We lived in the suburbs and everyone around us was like....well, us.

My parents, however, had grown up differently. My mom grew up in a very ethnic neighborhood, where if you didn't speak Czech or Polish, you couldn't function. Everyone spoke Czech as a first language, read the Slavik papers, and English was a second language.

My dad grew up in rural Illinois, but from a very culturally diverse and huge family. Because my grandfather was one of the only people in town who didn't lose his job during the depression, my dad said that their dinner table always had strangers. Local people, people passing through. Black, white, young, old. The feeling was that since there was enough food for the 8 of them, there was still enough for a couple more. The rule was....wash your hands and sit down. It wasn't fancy, but it was food.

Anyway, I think my parents knew I was missing out on an important piece of the life puzzle growing up as I did. So when I was 14, they had me volunteer as a candystriper at a large, metropolitan medical center.

It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I got an education that no amount of schooling would ever teach me. I was around black, white, hispanic, oriental. Old and young. The sick and the infirm. The dying. I saw burn victims and car crash victims. I saw young people dying from cancer. I saw "dead".

And I saw what drugs can do to you first hand.

I was taking papers into the emergency room. There was a policeman standing by a gurney, where a young man lay, eyes wide, frightened, shaky, sweaty, painfully thin and dirty. I saw that the young man was handcuffed to the steel bars of the gurney. As I passed, with his free hand, he tried to stop me.

"Please get the bugs off me....Please...." he pleaded.

He was scary and pathetic at the same time. I really didn't understand. The policeman looked at me and said gently, "Drugs. Take a good look. Don't let this be you someday."

I never touched a street drug in my entire life because of that policeman and that sad young man.

My parents never knew the true depth of what they did for me. I learned so much more than they ever had probably hoped for. Compassion. Understanding. Patience. Gratitude. Our gift of choice. I was a candystriper there for almost 3 years, until I got a regular part time job.

So this is my call to everyone. Volunteer. Share your talents with those who are less fortunate. And involve your kids. The lessons learned will be with them for a lifetime.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Thursday Thirteen Part 2

Answers to Life's Questions...(really yesterday's Thursday Thirteen):

1. Robert Palmer (musician "Addicted to Love") Dead. Sorry. Even I thought the babes he used in his videos were hot.

2. Johnny Bench (Cincinnati Reds baseball Hall of Famer). Alive and signin' baseballs at JohnnyBench.com

3. Betty White (actress most notably from Golden Girls). Doesn't anyone remember her reeming William Shatner a new one at his Comedy Central Roast last year? Yup, still alive and lettin' 'em have it.

4. David Cassidy (pop teen star). Alive -- and still pissed off at his dead father, Jack, jealous of his step brother Shaun, and wishing he's never seen a Partridge.

5. Beverly D'Angelo (actress from "Christmas Vacation" with Chevy Chase). She's alive -- and very, very busy. Had twins late in life with Al Pacino. Like REALLY late in life (49)!!! Now she's raising 3.

6. Johnny Carson (talk show host). Conducting interviews from the afterlife. Dead.

7. Mohammad Ali (champion prize fighter). Still alive, but very ill. Passed his fighting genes onto his daughter.

8. Gloria Steinem (activist, author, National Women's Hall of Famer). Still alive and still fighting the good fight.

9. Peter Benchley (author Jaws). Dead. I didn't know this one and had to look it up.

10. Francis Ford Coppola (director The Godfather). Alive and now producing very expensive wines from his Coppola vineyards.

11. Julia Child (world famous chef and TV icon). Dead. And I truly miss her. She was one of a kind.

12. Jimmy Carter (president). Alive. No comment. Just thought I put a president in here.

13. Elizabeth Taylor (actress) Alive -- shockingly. She's near Frankenstein in the number of surgeries she's had, but she's still a tireless campaigner for AIDS research from the sidelines.

and one trick one:

14. Cat Stevens (musician). Nicholas got it. He's alive, but is now known as: Yusaf Islam. Can you say "Moon Shadow"?

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Thursday Thirteen #22

Gone...or Maybe Not??

My girlfriend Anne and I have this macabre game we play every once in a while. It's called "Dead or Alive: Your Call". We think of celebrity names and try to guess if they are still alive or deceased.

Oh...c'mon....it's sick...it's fun...it's entertainment! Really. Have a bash and see if you can pick out who is Living or Deceased from this list of 13 (answers to follow):

1. Robert Palmer (musician "Addicted to Love")

2. Johnny Bench (Cincinnati Reds baseball Hall of Famer)

3. Betty White (actress most notably from Golden Girls)

4. David Cassidy (pop teen star)

5. Beverly DeAngelo (actress from "Christmas Vacation" with Chevy Chase)

6. Johnny Carson (talk show host)

7. Mohammad Ali (champion prize fighter)

8. Gloria Steinem (activist, author, National Women's Hall of Famer)

9. Peter Benchley (author Jaws)

10. Francis Ford Coppola (director The Godfather)

11. Julia Child (world famous chef and TV icon)

12. Jimmy Carter (president)

13. Elizabeth Taylor (actress)

and one trick one:

14. Cat Stevens (musician)

Ok troops.....no using google or wiki or anything. Give it your best shot!!
I'll post the answers tomorrow!

Monday, January 21, 2008

Me and Alice

Subtitle: Everyone Needs A Fantasy Bad Boy.

I can't tell you what it is about Alice Cooper that I find intriguing. Maybe it's his severe case of schizophrenia. Maybe I just need a bad boy. I'm not sure...

But I never gave Alice Cooper one single moment of thought or consideration other than a passing thumbs up at "School's Out" until about 1975. I was a senior in highschool and I heard "Only Women Bleed". When I asked someone who sang it, they told me, "Alice Cooper". I thought: they had to be kidding.

But they weren't. And thus began my love/hate relationship with Alice, one which I'm sure has kept him up many a night.

What glues me to Alice is the dichotomy of his nature. His split personality(ies). He's a gentleman golfer and a violence-exploiting putz at the same time. And while most people wish to hide the good/bad in their personalities (see: Wilde, Oscar. "Picture of Dorian Gray"), Alice is just comfy sharing the whole lot. Emotional stability be damned! I just couldn't...and still can't...understand a guy who pretends to drink blood on stage, yet has been happily married for years, plays 36 holes of golf a day and was invited to sing with Ms. Piggy on The Muppet Show.

Is it just me?

Now ol Coop was born Vincent Furnier, but gave birth to Alice as an entity that became his band. He referred to Alice always in the third person...even when speaking about himself. This, alone, should have made loved ones get him to Bellevue, but Alice Cooper (the man and band) began to make big bucks and therefore, no one stopped Vince/Alice (the man) from doing anything. Like almost drinking himself to death or using a snake as a stage prop, or throwing a chicken out into the audience who promptly killed the poor thing. In Alice's defense, he said he thought chickens could fly and would just come back to the stage. In reality, I think he was probably toasted and had lost all ability to reason.

But the Alice Cooper I came to like gave us "Welcome to My Nightmare" which contains "Only Women Bleed" and is about as sensitive a song as any man could give us. I found the song insightful to the point of scary as a wide eyed 18 year old, and now listening to it as an older woman who had been in an abusive relationship, well it's even more stunning...compounded by the fact that it was written and sung by a man named Alice. The theme albums that followed "Goes To Hell" and "Lace and Whiskey" (which contains another very female POV song: "No More Love At Your Convenience") are my favorites in the Coop repetoire.

So now, Alice (the man) has taken another turn to sobriety, book writing, golf and an embracing of Christianity. But the old Alice is still there too...out on stage for that "Psycho-Drama -- This Won't Hurt...Much" Tour.

Go figure. I certainly can't.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Thursday Thirteen #21

13 Things about Oscar Wilde. And boy was he ever!

1. Oscar Wilde was born Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde on October 16, 1854 in Dublin, Ireland.

2. His family consisted of his parents, Sir William Wilde and Jane Francesca Elgee and 5 siblings: Henry, Emily, Mary, William, Isola. His father was a well known and respected doctor, his mother was a writer, but because of the era she lived in, wrote under an alias.

3. Oscar attended college at Oxford and graduated with many prizes for his works. After graduation, Oscar moved to London to live with his friend Frank Miles, a popular high society portrait painter.

4. In 1881, Wilde published his first collection of poetry. It received mixed reviews by critics, but helped to move Oscar's writing career along and precipitated a trip to the United States in December, 1881. He delivered a series of lectures on aesthetics that was originally scheduled to last four months. It eventually stretched to nearly a year, with over 140 lectures given in 260 days. In between lectures he made time to meet with Henry Longfellow, Oliver Wendell Holmes and Walt Whitman. After returning to England, he then set off on a lecture tour of Britain and Ireland.

5. Wilde was popular on the lecture circuit and is regarded as one of the greatest playwrights of the Victorian Era -- he wrote and produced nine plays, but only one novel -- "The Picture of Dorian Gray".

6. He was known for his sharp wit and many of his famous quotes still resonate today. For instance, On Men:

"No man is rich enough to buy back his past."

"I delight in men over seventy, they always offer one the devotion of a lifetime. "
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"I don't like compliments, and I don't see why a man should think he is pleasing a woman enormously when he says to her a whole heap of things that he doesn't mean."
-- “Lady Windermere's Fan”

His quotes on Women:

"Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood."
-- “The Sphinx Without a Secret”

"It takes a thoroughly good woman to do a thoroughly stupid thing."
-- “Lady Windermere's Fan”

"My dear young lady, there was a great deal of truth, I dare say, in what you said, and you looked very pretty while you said it, which is much more important."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"I am sick of women who love one. Women who hate one are much more interesting."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

"I prefer women with a past. They're always so damned amusing to talk to."
-- “Lady Windermere's Fan”

Quotes on People

"People who count their chickens before they are hatched, act very wisely, because chickens run about so absurdly that it is impossible to count them accurately."
-- Letter from Paris, dated May 1900

"The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything, except what is worth knowing."
-- “The Soul of Man Under Socialism”

"Most men and women are forced to perform parts for which they have no qualification."
-- “Lord Arthur Savile's Crime”

"It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about, nowadays, saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

Quotes on Life

"Life is much too important a thing ever to talk seriously about it."
-- “Vera, of The Nihilists”

"The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden. It ends with Revelations."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell."
-- “The Duchess of Padua”

"The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast."
-- “Lord Arthur Savile's Crime”

Quotes on Love

"Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman - or the want of it in the man."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance."
-- “An Ideal Husband”

"A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

"Young men want to be faithful and are not; old men want to be faithless and cannot."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

7. Wilde married Constance Lloyd in 1884. She was well read, spoke several different languages and was very outspoken. They had 2 sons: Cyril in 1885 and Vyvyan in 1886.

8. With a family to support, Oscar worked at Woman's World magazine from 1887-1889. The next six years were to become the most creative period of his life. He published two collections of children's stories and his first and only novel, "The Picture of Dorian Gray". It was published in 1890 originally as a short story in an American magazine to a storm of critical protest. This fueled him to expand the story and get it published -- which is was the following year. Its implied homoerotic theme was considered very immoral by the Victorians and played a considerable part in his later legal trials.

9. Oscar's first play, “Lady Windermere's Fan,” opened in February 1892. It was a financial and critical success and as a result, he focused on writing for theater. His subsequent plays included “A Woman of No Importance” (1893), “An Ideal Husband” (1895), and “The Importance of Being Earnest” (1895). These plays were all highly acclaimed and firmly established Oscar as a playwright. He was the delight of the stage......until:

10. In the summer of 1891, Oscar met Lord Alfred 'Bosie' Douglas, the third son of the Marquis of Queensberry. Bosie was well acquainted with Oscar's novel “Dorian Gray” and was an undergraduate at Oxford. They soon became lovers and were inseparable until Wilde's arrest and conviction four years later of gross indecency. He was sentenced to two years hard labor. His wife Constance took the children to Switzerland and reverted to an old family name, “Holland.”

11. Upon his release from prison, he and Bosie were reunited for a time, but the relationship didn't last. He wrote a play about his experiences in prison, but it failed to rekindle interest in his works.

12. Oscar spent the last three years of his life wandering Europe, staying with friends and living in cheap hotels. When a recurrent ear infection became serious several years later, meningitis set in, and Oscar Wilde died on November 30, 1900 in Paris, France.

13. Numerous books and articles have been written on Oscar Wilde since his death, one of note by his grandson, Merlin Holland, in 1997.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Oh No, That's Gonna Hurt...

I have been to the doctor about 10 times since Christmas because of a cold, then a virus, then a sinus infection. In a nutshell, I am miserable.

However, I didn't know exactly HOW miserable I was going to get. The doctor blindsided me today. It went something like this:

"um...Lara....we ran some blood tests because you've been unable to shake this infection you have."

I nod. I know it -- it's doctor speak. I'm fine. But here comes the question that sends the hairs on the back of my neck to a 90 degree angle.

"Do you have a history of diabetes in your family?"

I stared for about 10 seconds, then hung my head ala Thomas Magnum. Resigned. Aware. Cooked. Busted. Cornered.


"Well, your fasting glucose is....blah, blah, blah and your A1c marker is blah, blah, blah. Your markers have been going slowly but steadily upwards...and you are now considered diabetic."

Yup. Ambushed.

Now I know enough to know that this isn't a death sentence. It could have been much worse. It was found early and hopefully I can be controlled with diet and more exercise. But this news comes on the heels of a special anniversary this year: 10 years since I had a heart attack. 2/14/1998 -- Valentine's Day -- My heart gave out. But I survived and I'm here and FINALLY, when I'm just beginning to get the thumbs up from life insurance agents, I get kicked out of the ballpark again.

Man, I hate it when that happens.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Suburban Misanthopia

Last September, my daughter decided she wanted to be a cheerleader. Well...ok!...although this encompassed an exorbitant amount of my time taking her to practices and driving her to football games that could be 25 miles away or more. But she was excited, the bonding was good for her because of her ADD and the training helped her expend her boundless energy. Me? Yea, I should have been training with them, but I used the time as I sat at the practices and little league football games to read, listen to my iPod or close my eyes behind my sunglasses. She loved it. I cheered her on during her squad's halftime show and then we went home after the game.

Now I am a fairly chatty, personable person. I can have a decent conversation with just about anyone, anywhere, even if alcohol isn't present. Somehow, and I don't know why exactly, I'm having...and have had...trouble bonding with the typical Suburban Mom.

We've already established that I'm a bit "off the wall". As much as I wish I was, I'm just not Suburban Wife and Mom material, even though being a wife and mother is what I truly wanted. Now that I have my own life (as I did in my 20's), the kids are getting older and a bit more self sufficient, I find I have more and more difficulty "blending" in with the neighborhood/cheerleading/soccer moms. This is no reflection on them. It's a reflection on me.

Most of them -- say 95% -- are married, either non-working or working just part time outside the home. There are very few of them in my section of the boat....status post heart attack with panic disorder, a crazy ex-husband, 2 kids, one with ADHD, no other family, a bright son who quit highschool (but will be starting junior college early and taking his GED), working full time and trying desperately to stay ahead of the dirty laundry monster who is perpetually at my heels.

I guess part of the disconnect is that I look at some of these women with envy -- one just got her last child of 3 off to college and she decided to start to look for a job. She landed a great one at a little bookstore, 9-3, 2 days a week. Some are in school, taking a class here and there. Others are at home, comtemplating starting a home-based business. I guess what they have, which I wished I had, is not the time to be home necessarily, but is having a stable, relatively happy marriage. I'll probably never know what that feels like, even though it is something I wanted. I'll never know what it's like to have your husband overjoyed that you are pregnant and taking part in your pregnancy and preparing for the birth of your child. And that makes me sad. Sometimes overwhelmingly sad.

But to combat the blues, I have marched decidedly forward as a single person, determined to get my self confidence back...to make a list of goals that I can achieve on my own.

And this is all good. All totally positive and good.

But I still wish for that which I will never have.....

Saturday, January 12, 2008

New Year, New Ideas

Yes, I could go on and on about losing weight, or getting my finances in order, or organizing my house or organizing my office, or my quest to get my kids to listen to me....but I won't. I've decided to try something new and not rehash what I should be doing. Like losing weight, saving money, policing the kids and organizing the mess that surrounds me.

I've discovered over the life of this blog that people's lives are intertwined so beautifully and intricately. People, things and experiences that touch us resonate into other areas of our lives and bring up memories, help us to grow, help us heal. They sometimes provide outlets for our creativity and our need to express and to connect with others.

So this year, my blog will be dedicated to people who have crossed my path, whether it be face to face, or in a book, or through a blog or whatever. Maybe this sounds very "Secret Squirrel", but you'll get it as I roll (literally) through 2008.

Take for instance, one whom I've blogged on before: Abraham Lincoln. Me and Abe. Why do I, along with many people, find him so fascinating? What about his life sticks to me and makes me want to know more? Why is there more written on Abe (yes, part of it was the Civil War) than, for instance, Grover Cleveland? Or is it that I haven't researched Grover enough to know??? So should I research Grover more? Nah. Right now, my dance card is really full.

In an effort to clear the card (in anticipation of old age dementia), I'm gonna begin a series: the "Me And...." series. Like Me and Anne, Me and Monty Python, Me and the Three Stooges, Me and Colleen, Me and the other Colleen (who writes a beautiful blog I'll tell you about...Loose Leaf Notes--see the link in my Link Love list), Me and Susan (who writes another great blog, West of Mars -- also in the Link List), Me and the Delaney Sisters, Me and WAM (the crazy ex-husband), Me and MMD (I'll explain later). Like that.

Thanks to all of you who have crossed my path. You have saved my life in more ways that I can even begin to tell you.

So in the immortal words of Jackie Gleason..... And Away We Go!!!

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Thursday Thirteen #20! Thirteen Men....

...I Would Run Away With and Why. Perhaps the WHY part is more important here? And let me know of any similarities you see in my picks. It'll help me when I place my wish list on match.com. (Note to Sam: just kidding, honey!)

1. Robert Redford. Sure, you're thinking it's because of that still perfect head of hair. But no (well, maybe a little). It's because of Sundance...the film festival and all that beautiful land in Utah we could explore! With any luck, they'd never find us.

2. William Shatner. C'mon. Who laughs at himself better than the Negotiator? And truth be told, I've been a Shat-nerd since that Captain James Tiberius Kirk thing, but the Shat of the new millenium is funnier than hell. And funny is so attractive.

3. Tommy Lee Jones. It's that rugged man's man thing -- strong, street smart, totally confident, comfy in his own skin. So sexy. Someone to watch over me....and I wouldn't have to hold in my stomach.

4. Johnny Depp. Because one minute you'd be sleeping next to the man in Chocolat and the next that murderous singing barber, Sweeny Todd. Would definitely keep you on your toes. And then there's those deep, dark, expressive EYES. Whew.

5. Tom Selleck. The epitome of Tall, Dark and Handsome. And smart. Looks good in Hawaiian shirts. Could probably hold up the end of the car with one hand while changing the tire with the other. Or...maybe just hire someone to do the job while he kisses you up against that red ferrari (that's where the smarts come in).

6. Barry Manilow. Besides those magnificent piano playin' hands, he could wake you up by singing a love song he composed for you overnight. He's Type A and doesn't sleep anyway. Music and passion, honey, music and passion. It's that illusion of creative vulnerability -- and I fall for it every time.

7. David Duchovny. Great ass and poster man for the saying, "Smart is Sexy". All he would have to do is punch out a couple of those dry "Mulderisms" and I'd be a goner. (Altho Anne and I have debated if we should run away with the WRITER who WROTE the line, or Duchovny who interpreted and delivered the line....hmmm? Silence to those of you suggesting a menage a trois. I'm a one-man-at-a-time woman.)

8. Matthew Perry. I can't explain it. All I can say is "we love whom we love". He's like a stranded kitten and I couldn't resist him with wild horses dragging me the other way.

9. Hugh Grant. It's the whole package....the accent, the British-ness of him. All those feelings behind that stoic British exterior all saved up just for little ol' me. I feel I'm up to the challenge.

10. David Steinberg. I've loved him since the 1970's. He's been a stand up comedian, a director, a writer, an author and a talk show host. Funny, brilliant and so handsome. And since he was studying theology before he went into show business, my walking Old Testament. Who could resist a Moses joke?

11. Dick Cavett. A Yale graduated brainiac with a great sense of humor, I've adored him forever too. Anyone who can comfortably interview the likes of Janis Joplin, Truman Capote, Katherine Hepburn, John Lennon and hold his own with Groucho is someone I want to be with. I'd be a walk in the park next to the likes of them and I could talk all day without complaint.

12. John Cleese. I could listen to him talk for hours. Funny, smart, talented, saavy and kenetic...in a great package. Besides, he cleans up so well as a woman! And who could not love the man who portrayed the head of the "Ministry of Silly Walks", Basil Fawlty, and who blurted out, "I fart in your general direction" on the big screen?

13. Morgan Freeman. Strong, smart, totally sexy...I would follow him anywhere and not worry about a thing. Ever. He's one of those men that gives you the impression that if he says he loves you, he LOVES you...and that's that. You'd never have one moment of doubt. ahhh.....security.

And because I need someone UNDER 40 (and found this absolutely gorgeous picture of Leo):

14. Leonardo DiCaprio. Every movie he's in, I like him more and more and respect his talent more and more. Besides, he a staunch environmentalist ala Redford. So more and more I think I could run off with him and not look back. (As long we don't go by ship).