Ain't Nothin' Like the Real Thing: Heart Issues

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Work = Stress = Eat = High Blood Pressure

Today I went to work after the business meeting nightmare. I had an early meeting with my boss's boss (COO of the ultramegamedical conglomerate) who was very understanding of my battle in the office.

Anyway, as I headed back to the office (after picking up Erin who got sick at school, parking myself in my own bathroom for 20 minutes (antibiotics....), I got to work and immediately started to feel..."off". It's the only way I can describe it. OFF. And then my left arm started to hurt which for any heart attack surviver is like some someone pouring gasoline over your head and approaching you with a lit match. Am I gonna get it? Am I not gonna get it?

So I decided to have my blood pressure taken by one of the nurses. It was a hefty 160/100 on the first run, 158/98 on the second. I took klonopin and within 2 hours, it was down to 131/82 and then a delightful 119/75.

Erin and I went out for a bit where we ran into some credit card disaster. I went to buy milk and my credit card wouldn't work because they had noticed a fishy transaction on it (which turned out they were right) and put a hold on my card. So I got home and fixed that. Then I noticed my cat Mena is missing. I've called her and called her both inside and outside the house. She must have slipped out -- so anyway after looking for her I sat down for awhile and took my BP again. 141/94 first try, 138/92 on the second. 132/82 after deep breathing with my eyes closed, another klonopin, 2 aspirin and a celexa.

Could this be my wake up call? I don't know. I'd love to spend a week at the Duke Health Hospital in North Carolina. Then I thought I could take a week off and do it myself at home. Order food from Seattle Sutton. Gentle workouts everyday. Meet with a dietician. Meditation. A massage or two. And it wouldn't be as expensive as going to The Duke with it's $3000 price tag. But I'm worth it right? Yea, right.

In today's eonomony I'm struggling to pay for my 6 week hair cut and touch up. I just CAN'T give up on that. CAN'T. I'll starve first. Which isn't likely.

So what I'll do....I don't know. I need to take care of myself and I'm not good at it.

But I'll try.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Issues Weighing On My Mind

Had an appointment today with my cardiologist. I have a great doc. A woman, a mother. I was telling her about my weight nightmare, and as she would like to see me shed about 20 pounds, has a vested medical interest in my tonage struggle. Well, she checked me out and gave me the thumbs up…which I was happy about. Then she started giving me that usual “doc talk” about coronary artery disease and weight and diet and exercise and my age and and and. I told her I was in total agreement. I told her diet and exercise issues interrupt my sleep patterns most nights. I told her there probably isn’t anyone in this galaxy or neighboring ones that has those issues foremost on their minds more than I do. I have created and nurtured a whole new angst over weight and diet that would cripple some.

Well, my doc (who’s about 115 lbs and about 5’5”) sighed and put down the white coat and stethoscope. Here’s what she told me.

“I had weight problems when I was younger too. I was a doctor, worked full time, had small children. I struggled to watch my diet, and absolutely never had time to exercise because of my schedule and the children. I truly didn’t start effectively exercising until my kids were in college. So what I’m telling you is: I understand what you are going through. I wish I could make it easier for you. But for now, just practice moderation in your diet. As for exercise, stop beating yourself up and worrying about it. Worry isn’t going to help you. Just try to do small things. Take the stairs. Go for a short walk at lunch. Park farther away at work. Move every day and be proud of the small things you do.”

But what about the new Food and Weight Loss Pyramids released by the government last year? 90 minutes of exercise a day to LOSE WEIGHT??? I'm not kidding. Did you see what they say about Weight Loss? Here:

“Exercise at least 30 minutes a day to reduce the risk of chronic disease. (okay. I can understand that.) Increase to 60 minutes to PREVENT weight gain. (just PREVENT? I’m starting to sweat now.) Increase to 90 minutes to lose weight or keep weight off that you have lost. (like 90 minutes A DAY? 90? 9 – 0 ?)"

My head is swirling and my brain hurts.

They are saying that every day, every single day, I need to find 90 minutes to exercise in order to shed unwanted pounds. I can barely find 90 seconds in my day.

And I am totally at a loss to decode the Food Pyramid. You need a PhD in mathematics to make any sense of it -- there are like 12 different color-bar-coded Pyramids and an accompanying 1000 page manual. Can't we just go back to: Meat/Dairy/Fruits and Veggies/Fat?

My doctor smiled and patted my hand. “Just try to do small things to take care of yourself…..and stop worrying.”

After I left her office, I had to sit in my car in the parking lot and ruminate, ponder and generally think. Don’t worry? If I stop worrying, won’t I create some kind of vacuum, which nature abhors, and end up the cause of the universe being sucked into a black hole? Stop worrying. Stop worrying. Stop worrying.

I shall begin to worry about how to not worry.