Friday, July 27, 2007

Para-Noid


My little punky-mood should actually be "Paranoid", but I'm sick with the flu and that looms larger in my universe at the moment for several reasons, but first:

#1 -- I'm paranoid because I called in sick today at work. I mean I'm really home sick, even though it's Friday. Yes, I'm sitting here composing a post, but it's only because the drugs have kicked in and the Sudafed on top of Nyquil, on top of Advil has produced a nice rapid heartrate, and at the moment I feel like polishing each individual blade of grass in my front yard with Pledge to get that nice glossy carpet look (to match my nice, glossy eyes). Then I may wax the driveway, re-paper my kitchen drawers and purge the garage. Hopefully by noon. I know my co-workers are sitting around saying "sure...sure she's sick" even though they are all very nice, compassionate people who know I don't lie about stuff like that. I may begin to entertain the thought that Sudafed on top of Nyquil on top of Advil may produce other side effects besides psycho-energy.

Now, I must not be sick because:

#1 -- Everyone at work thinks I'm lying. Even though I'm not. Even though I really know they know I really am. (Someone decode that sentence and get back to me. Thank you.)
#2 -- It is my daughter's birthday party tonight. I have 14 people coming over for a BBQ. I do not wish to be sneezing all over their food, nor blabbering incoherent sentences before everyone else has had at least a couple of drinks under their belts. I may lay off the cold meds and just start drinking later. You know, just slip unnoticed into the jolly atmosphere, so to speak.
#3 -- my very nice significant other, Sam, has seen my post entitled "Surrounded by Assassins" and thought he had better take matters into his own hands before my brains start spilling out onto the floor. As it's my ex's weekend with the kids, Sam has booked us a hotel room for Saturday evening. No kids, no phones. I must not be sick. It really isn't attractive to have red, swollen eyes, a red, swollen nose and a cough that sounds like a Saint Bernard calling for lost skiers.

You can see my dilemma is multi-faceted, complicated and frustrating. I'm not sure what exactly will get me through today. And tomorrow and Sunday. Of course I could rest, drink lots of fluids, double up on Vitamin C, consume organic green tea with echinecea, perhaps try a mineral supplement with zinc, an extra multi, and Ricola all natural throat lozenges. I could. My paranoia and psycho-energy would probably stop if I went homeopathic. Hmmm.

Nah.

2 comments:

colleen said...

I can practically hear you blowing your nose.

Anonymous said...

Your very nice significant other won't care about your red eyes or swollen nose. He's a great guy and he loves you. Let's hope your cough does progress to a whole new decibel level. Then you can say, "Sam, honey, you're such a wonderful lover you actually made me BARK!"

Anne