I wish I could say I was "Out to Lunch" or "Gone Fishing", but the truth is I've been under the weather and over-whelmed by life in general. And you moms know what THAT means....everything else falls apart at home. Everything. The kids, the housework, the laundry, the cleaning, the shopping, the cats. Then everything falls apart at work. Seems to me that one little me is holding up an awful lot.
Not that I'm complaining...exactly. I could be dead.
Of course, I threw my hat into the Nano ring and I've hit 19,000+ words, but with only a week to go, I doubt I'll hit that 50,000 goal. But that's ok. I'll probably continue to work on the story as life unfolds until the next Nano. My girlfriend Anne is doing it too and it reminded her mom of the times we wrote together as kids. I'd write one night and she'd take the story and write the next...and back and forth. I think many of our stories revolved around Bobby Sherman, Beatles and hockey players, but hey, it was all good clean fun.
We also went to visit our ol' pal Abe Lincoln in Springfield a couple weekends ago. We thought we'd take a picture of the old capital where Obama gave his speech. So in the cold and wind, we tramped down to the old Capital and took our pictures. As we headed for the train station back to Chicago, the cab driver asked us about our stay. Anne mentioned that we walked over to "that building" to take pictures where Obama made his speech.
The laugh was on us. We took pictures of an old church.
Well, the thought was there -- and now we have another reason to go back. I love it there!! Not only did we appropriately celebrate Anne's birthday, but we finally made it to the Lincoln library. It was just grand. We spent our time in the research/reference section, where there is free access to genealogy records. It was just great.
And we even took time away from our continual laughter to NaNo for an hour or so.
We are nothing if not disciplined.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
So Where Have U Been?
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Love and Fur
I have literally NO time on my hands, between the merger my office is going through, school ending and accompanying my son to traffic court, but tonight is unusual in that the only living beings in the house are me and the cats, Mouse, Kalli and Mena. Daughter is staying overnight at her dad's (which happens about 4 times a year) and Son is at an all night bon-fire with several school mates (fortunately, it's close to home and I'm a light sleeper -- when I hear the fire engines roaring by, I'll know exactly where they are going). However, I thought I'd take a moment to salute my silent partners, those whose company I have come to need almost as much as air.
I've always had cats, mostly because I grew up in an apartment. Where I am now is the only HOUSE I've ever lived in that I remember. But growing up, being an only child living in an apartment, it was a cat or nothing. So I became a cat person.
I've heard that cats are independent and stand-offish and only come around when they are hungry or want affection. In other words, they make the rules. However, I don't find that necessarily true (except for Mena, who can be a 25 pound force all her own). Mouse and Kalli can have full tummies and still manage to crowd me whether I'm on the couch or sitting at the table or reading in bed. They are very offended and put off if I have to get up to do something. They follow me to see what is so important that I needed to disturb them -- going so far as to accompany me into the bathroom. They will sometimes sit outside the door and wait, but that is a rare occurance. They must think I am going to do something absolutely riveting in that room....which they must not miss for all the catnip in China.
But as my house is uncommonly quiet right now, I find the Triad of Furballs quite comforting. Kalli remains on my left, Mena at my right, and Mouse at my feet, although Mena and Mouse change spots frequently. Kalli, however, is my citadel. Always stationed at my left, either paws in or paws out.
I've said before that I carry the devotion of all my pets with me, and I do. For all the hairballs I've cleaned up, for all the vet visits, for all the expensive food I've needed to buy, for all the litter pans I've scooped, for all the times I've cried when I've had to watch one get old and die, I wouldn't give it up for anything. The love of a pet cannot be explained, either from the furry view or the human view. All I know is....I'm a better person for the animals I've cared for and they have taught me amazing lessons on unconditional love and unwavering devotion.
Here's to all the furry, feathered, scaled friends that make our lives richer.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Oh No, That's Gonna Hurt...
I have been to the doctor about 10 times since Christmas because of a cold, then a virus, then a sinus infection. In a nutshell, I am miserable.
However, I didn't know exactly HOW miserable I was going to get. The doctor blindsided me today. It went something like this:
"um...Lara....we ran some blood tests because you've been unable to shake this infection you have."
I nod. I know it -- it's doctor speak. I'm fine. But here comes the question that sends the hairs on the back of my neck to a 90 degree angle.
"Do you have a history of diabetes in your family?"
I stared for about 10 seconds, then hung my head ala Thomas Magnum. Resigned. Aware. Cooked. Busted. Cornered.
"Yes...."
"Well, your fasting glucose is....blah, blah, blah and your A1c marker is blah, blah, blah. Your markers have been going slowly but steadily upwards...and you are now considered diabetic."
Yup. Ambushed.
Now I know enough to know that this isn't a death sentence. It could have been much worse. It was found early and hopefully I can be controlled with diet and more exercise. But this news comes on the heels of a special anniversary this year: 10 years since I had a heart attack. 2/14/1998 -- Valentine's Day -- My heart gave out. But I survived and I'm here and FINALLY, when I'm just beginning to get the thumbs up from life insurance agents, I get kicked out of the ballpark again.
Man, I hate it when that happens.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Suburban Misanthopia
Last September, my daughter decided she wanted to be a cheerleader. Well...ok!...although this encompassed an exorbitant amount of my time taking her to practices and driving her to football games that could be 25 miles away or more. But she was excited, the bonding was good for her because of her ADD and the training helped her expend her boundless energy. Me? Yea, I should have been training with them, but I used the time as I sat at the practices and little league football games to read, listen to my iPod or close my eyes behind my sunglasses. She loved it. I cheered her on during her squad's halftime show and then we went home after the game.
Now I am a fairly chatty, personable person. I can have a decent conversation with just about anyone, anywhere, even if alcohol isn't present. Somehow, and I don't know why exactly, I'm having...and have had...trouble bonding with the typical Suburban Mom.
We've already established that I'm a bit "off the wall". As much as I wish I was, I'm just not Suburban Wife and Mom material, even though being a wife and mother is what I truly wanted. Now that I have my own life (as I did in my 20's), the kids are getting older and a bit more self sufficient, I find I have more and more difficulty "blending" in with the neighborhood/cheerleading/soccer moms. This is no reflection on them. It's a reflection on me.
Most of them -- say 95% -- are married, either non-working or working just part time outside the home. There are very few of them in my section of the boat....status post heart attack with panic disorder, a crazy ex-husband, 2 kids, one with ADHD, no other family, a bright son who quit highschool (but will be starting junior college early and taking his GED), working full time and trying desperately to stay ahead of the dirty laundry monster who is perpetually at my heels.
I guess part of the disconnect is that I look at some of these women with envy -- one just got her last child of 3 off to college and she decided to start to look for a job. She landed a great one at a little bookstore, 9-3, 2 days a week. Some are in school, taking a class here and there. Others are at home, comtemplating starting a home-based business. I guess what they have, which I wished I had, is not the time to be home necessarily, but is having a stable, relatively happy marriage. I'll probably never know what that feels like, even though it is something I wanted. I'll never know what it's like to have your husband overjoyed that you are pregnant and taking part in your pregnancy and preparing for the birth of your child. And that makes me sad. Sometimes overwhelmingly sad.
But to combat the blues, I have marched decidedly forward as a single person, determined to get my self confidence back...to make a list of goals that I can achieve on my own.
And this is all good. All totally positive and good.
But I still wish for that which I will never have.....
Saturday, January 12, 2008
New Year, New Ideas
Yes, I could go on and on about losing weight, or getting my finances in order, or organizing my house or organizing my office, or my quest to get my kids to listen to me....but I won't. I've decided to try something new and not rehash what I should be doing. Like losing weight, saving money, policing the kids and organizing the mess that surrounds me.
I've discovered over the life of this blog that people's lives are intertwined so beautifully and intricately. People, things and experiences that touch us resonate into other areas of our lives and bring up memories, help us to grow, help us heal. They sometimes provide outlets for our creativity and our need to express and to connect with others.
So this year, my blog will be dedicated to people who have crossed my path, whether it be face to face, or in a book, or through a blog or whatever. Maybe this sounds very "Secret Squirrel", but you'll get it as I roll (literally) through 2008.
Take for instance, one whom I've blogged on before: Abraham Lincoln. Me and Abe. Why do I, along with many people, find him so fascinating? What about his life sticks to me and makes me want to know more? Why is there more written on Abe (yes, part of it was the Civil War) than, for instance, Grover Cleveland? Or is it that I haven't researched Grover enough to know??? So should I research Grover more? Nah. Right now, my dance card is really full.
In an effort to clear the card (in anticipation of old age dementia), I'm gonna begin a series: the "Me And...." series. Like Me and Anne, Me and Monty Python, Me and the Three Stooges, Me and Colleen, Me and the other Colleen (who writes a beautiful blog I'll tell you about...Loose Leaf Notes--see the link in my Link Love list), Me and Susan (who writes another great blog, West of Mars -- also in the Link List), Me and the Delaney Sisters, Me and WAM (the crazy ex-husband), Me and MMD (I'll explain later). Like that.
Thanks to all of you who have crossed my path. You have saved my life in more ways that I can even begin to tell you.
So in the immortal words of Jackie Gleason..... And Away We Go!!!
